Unemployed Florida

NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

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NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

Post  GonzoFL on Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:31 am

Subject: New Congressional Programs for Citizens over 50 Years Old
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and
above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the
SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our
citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this
to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all
the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas
and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of
the Tunnel has been turned off.
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GonzoFL

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Join date : 2009-07-12
Age : 61
Location : Crystal River,Florida

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Re: NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

Post  Robyn on Fri Mar 12, 2010 6:09 am

Too damn funny! I'm laughing so hard that I just woke up half a house here.
Aging never looked so appealing..

Robyn

Posts : 59
Join date : 2009-07-13

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Re: NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

Post  Montanakat on Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:26 pm

Thank you, Gonzo! You are truly a word master. I haven't laughed this hard in months!

Montanakat

Posts : 3
Join date : 2009-09-02
Location : St. Cloud

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Re: NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

Post  GonzoFL on Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:29 pm

I wish I could take credit for actually writing that. I copied it from another site. Who ever wrote that deserves a Pulitzer.....not only is it funny,it fits to a tea,the very being of our government. Exclamation
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GonzoFL

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Re: NEW GOVERNMENT PROGRAM TO BE AVAILABLE SOON.

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