Unemployed Florida

On a much lighter note!

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On a much lighter note!

Post  Unemployed In Orlando on Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:28 pm

Received an email today and it gave me a little laugh, so thought I would share lol!

New Stiumlus Program


Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala .
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
• If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
• If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

A true American will therefore go to a ball game and drink beer with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale!
Unemployed In Orlando

Posts : 551
Join date : 2009-07-12
Age : 44
Location : Altamonte Springs, FL.


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lighter note

Post  kittyg59 on Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:58 am

EXCELLENT!!! Laughing


Posts : 17
Join date : 2009-09-03
Location : Kissimmee

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